No More “Fake It ‘til You Make It”
I was recently talking with a colleague who commented that there were steps she needed to take to help build her business, but it just felt like too much. She wasn’t the kind of person who reaches out to strangers and asks them for a 15-minute phone conversation; that’s something that phone researchers feel comfortable doing, but not an online researcher like her.
Infopreneurs are often encouraged to just “fake it ‘til you make it.” In my experience, the “fake it” approach works for habits that we want to start—I went from couch potato to running marathons by joining a group of fellow spuds and convincing each other that we could run 26.2 miles and live to tell the story.
However, doing something scary for my business requires more than just talking myself into feeling brave. I use a strategy that helps me disconnect from the stories in my head of why I can’t do “That Dreaded Thing,” and instead focus on specific action steps I can take. A couple of years ago, I needed to conduct a half dozen reality-check conversations with VP-level executives in one of my markets. I found the mere thought of reaching out to these people to be intimidating beyond words. Whenever I had spare time to focus on this, I would instead decide that I had to do my invoices right that moment, or the dogs desperately needed a walk, or … #ProductiveProcrastination, perhaps, but it didn’t get those calls made.
So I imagined talking with Risa Sacks, a friend and retired primary researcher who was fearless about picking up the phone and interviewing an expert in a field she wasn’t familiar with. I imagined what specific steps she would take and wrote down my own list of action steps—spend half an hour reviewing contacts on LinkedIn, draft an email asking for an interview, send out three emails and see what results I get, for example.
I found that it didn’t work to imagine that I was an extrovert who loved phone calls—that was so much of a stretch that I couldn’t possibly fake it. But I could think of manageable steps that would move me toward my outcome and that, considered one by one, didn’t seem impossible. The unexpected result was that I learned I can become someone who conducts phone interviews successfully—just like a primary researcher!—not by trying to brainwash myself into being someone I’m not, but by figuring out what steps someone like me—an introvert who much prefers in-person conversations—can take to accomplish what’s important to me.
I take a similar approach when I get the jitters just before a public presentation. I’ll ask myself “How would a confident speaker stand right now? How would she walk up to the podium? How would she begin her presentation?” and then I do what that confident speaker would do. I stand up straight, take a deep breath, smile and make eye contact with a few friendly faces in the audience, and then I’m good to go.
These techniques help me figure out how I can take on the behavior of people I admire without it feeling inauthentic or artificial. This is just me doing the things that people I respect do—no need to fake it. See for yourself if this approach helps you get “That Dreaded Thing” done.
Mary Ellen Bates is the principal of Bates Information Services (batesinfo.com), enabling better business decisions since 1991. She also offers free coaching services to fellow infopreneurs. She can be reached at mbates@batesinfo.com or +1 303 772 7095.
